Giving Thanks

The vast majority of my writing and thoughts tends to be on the negative side. Given my current life circumstances, I reckon that is both understandable and forgivable. Yet it really serves no constructive purpose and certainly does not change my situation.

In honor of the season of giving thanks, I would like to look on the bright side for a change, and count my blessings. This may be a short essay. OK, here goes... The end.

Just kidding, I do have things that I am thankful for. First and foremost, are my beautiful children. They give me a reason to wake up each morning, and they keep my hope alive in a dark and dreary situation.

I am thankful that they are relatively happy and healthy children. Well, at least two of them are, as far as I know. I do know (from pictures) that my new son is extremely beautiful, but I know nothing about his health, mental state, or his level of contentment in life.

I'm thankful that they are all well loved, by their dad and their moms. I'm thankful that they have a loving parent to fill the void left by my incarceration.

While I certainly do not believe my sentence is fair or appropriate, I'm thankful that it's not worse. I should be out before my oldest graduates from high school.

The conditions here may not exactly be plush, but I'm thankful I have food and a "bed." I'm grateful that I was able to swap my "magazine -thin" mattress for a "phone book -thick" one. It may only be a Fargo, North Dakota area code thickness, but it's better than nothing.

I'm thankful for my health. In fact, my weight is the lowest it's been in some 20 years, and I exercise more than I ever have in my life (with the possible exception of high school football). I'd like to believe that the 6 1/2 years of my life that are lost will be made up on the tail end.

I'm extremely thankful for books -- many times in life I've lamented having such little time to read. That's not a problem I face right now.

I'm thankful that I have seen and experienced so much more of the world and most people have or will in a lifetime. I'm thankful for my education, from school, from family and friends, and from life.

I'm grateful for the support, love, and faith from my family, who still believe in me despite my mistakes. I don't know that I could survive this ordeal without that belief.

I'm thankful for the handful of friends who have not abandoned me. Such an experience as this illustrates the very best (and the worst) of humanity. I'm thankful as well for those in here who give me encouragement and a shoulder to lean on.

It's frequently said, in here and out there, that "it could be worse." It's easy to forget that here, but it's very true. Yet by the process of elimination, there must be at least one person who cannot say that. I'm ever so thankful that this person is not me.

Happy Holidays to all!