-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Mom was an incredibly loving, generous, selfless and giving
woman. Her greatest joy and passion in
her life was her family. She was never more
alive or content than when she was surrounded by family, be it we kids, her
sisters, her parents, or her grandchildren. This was when she was at her
absolute all-time best.
When her
kids grew up and moved out, and after she and Dad separated, she never really
fully recovered. That, combined with her recurring health issues of hepatitis C
and diabetes, meant Mom really struggled for a very long time. I truly hope she
has found peace at last.
Mom put
so much time and energy into helping others. First and foremost was her family,
but this selflessness extended to everyone.
She was the first in our family to obtain a Master's degree -- in social
work, of course. She threw herself completely into her work with troubled families
and at-risk kids.
In the
years to come, many of us implored her to turn that loving, caring energy
toward herself, but it was something she was unable to do. Perhaps one of her biggest flaws, if it can
be called that, was that she was too selfless.
Throughout
my life, Mom's unconditional love and concern for her kids was never in question,
sometimes to our dismay, as she could be smothering at times. She was involved in nearly every aspect of
our lives in one way or another - an active member of PTA, an ever-present
cheerleader at our many sports events, and she even made the long drive to
Boston because I had a minor part in a college play.
Though
she and Dad never had a lot of money (they were both social workers), she spent
all she had and more on Christmas gifts and birthday presents. I recall how my brothers and I convinced our
sister to continue the ruse that she believed in Santa, lest we stop getting
such awesome presents. We should have known better, for long after the jig was
up, Mom made sure that Christmas never lost its magic. Even when we were
"adults", Mom made sure there were a few cool toys that we could play
with.
She
would rarely engage in the shenanigans and tomfoolery that were ever-present
when we all got together, but there was always a gleam in her eye and a smile on
her face while she rebuked us for such high jinks. On the rare occasions when we could coax her
to join in, it was pretty clear why she resisted, as she possessed neither
coordination or grace in abundance, but that just made it all the more
entertaining and endearing.
Mom was
a real trooper as well. She would embark on any adventure, so long as it led to
time with her family. From gypsy
caravans to Florida, to the Canadian Rockies, from Mexican beaches to Japan,
Mom would do anything to be with her family.
I miss
Mom so very much, it hurts me deeply that I was unable to be there with her or
for her these past several years, but it wasn't by design.
But I'm so very thankful for all that Mom has given me, taught me, and
done for me. She was a model for unconditional love, kindness, compassion,
generosity, honesty and selflessness. I've tried to practice these as a
teacher, as a father, and most of all as a human.
