Nectar for the Soul

While walking back from the phones today, I saw a hummingbird perched on the razor wire that tops the fence that divides our yard. It was joined by a second and they began flitting about each other in and around the razor wire. It lifted my spirits to see the hummingbird, the first I've seen in several years.

Then I began to wonder: would they make it out to the desert before using up all their energy by beating their wings so furiously? Would they make it to the sweet nectar that fuels their bodies and lies outside this desolate barren land surrounded by fences? I was concerned for the hummingbirds.

Then I thought, how similar to my own predicament. Will I make it out beyond these fences to some sweet nectar to fuel my spirit? My life force is ebbing away and this institution is sucking away my soul a little bit every day. How can I re-energize my spirit, my life force, my soul?

I suppose I must make do with the nectar of literature, or writing, of music, and of movies rather than the more nourishing nectar of authentic life experiences. I must be nourished, or at least satisfied with a simpler expectation of what constitutes a meaningful life experience.

For example, the other night at chow I was stuffing a bag of Lay's potato chips in my sock to enjoy later that evening (we've been getting cursory pat downs as we leave the chow hall recently.) As I looked around, I noticed another inmate at another table doing the exact same thing. We caught each other's eyes and we both began to laugh. It was a simple moment, outside the range of the life experiences to which I was once accustomed, but in that moment there was a connection and an acknowledgement of the absurdity that our lives have become.

It is these simple moments that can provide nectar for the soul, that make life worth living, and keep us going in spite of the obstacles placed in or paths.