Connecting with Convicts

This entry is primarily aimed toward those who may have friends, family, or loved ones who are incarcerated.  This is obviously a difficult situation for everyone involved.  There is undoubtedly conflict, reluctance, embarrassment, mistrust, and uncomfortable feelings all around, but...  Coming from someone on the inside of the prison walls and fences, I urge you to communicate!  Certainly this is not an easy thing for many, especially if the crime is particularly heinous or uncomfortable to address.  If that is the case, you need not address it.  A simple card or letter to say "I'm thinking of you, you're not forgotten " can mean so much to an inmate in confinement.

Oftentimes, there is the initial communication, which slowly fades away as time passes -causing us to feel lost, unloved, and forgotten.  Or people who we thought were close never correspond at all, leading us to wonder, to think the worst, or to sow the seeds of resentment toward humanity as a whole.  Many people seem to think that writing about mundane, everyday occurrences would be boring, or worse, cause sorrow and envy.  While there is some truth to this, by and large we would rather hear about it than not.  It's often a way to live vicariously through others.

We have all made mistakes in life, some bigger and messier than others, but we must not judge people by their mistakes alone.  The overwhelming majority of us are good hearted people who made bad choices, and often were in the wrong place at the wrong time.  That could happen to anyone.  Try to see us, and everyone really, with compassion and empathy.  We are all a part of this whole crazy universe, interconnected in ways we cannot possibly fathom.

One suggestion for communications would be to ask us questions.  While we here in prison might imagine that there is nothing of interest happening in our lives (and rightly so) it might be fascinating to those on the "outside" to hear about the mundane craziness of prison life.  The dreadful food, the inter-yard politics, the clandestine network of trade and barter, the hours of waiting, are all facets of life that most have little experience with.  Ask us questions and be specific!  We want to reach out, but we are afraid or are too embarrassed to make the first move.  We might have no way to discover where you are unless you tell us.

In most cases, you can find us easily on the Internet through your "local" department of corrections.  We will eventually get your letter... maybe... but don't give up trying.  It seems hard in this fast paced world of instant electronic communication to actually write and send a letter, but you just might find a forgotten joy in that process.  And receiving an actual, physical letter in your mailbox (instead of bills and junk mail) might be as pleasant for you as it is for us.

For those who are willing and able, consider a little gift.  Books, music, newspaper and magazine clippings are allowed in Arizona - but check on policies and procedures first.  Sending even 10 or 20 bucks would be an incredible joy for us.  Most inmates, even if they work, are paid slave wages - leaving little money for the little "goodies" that might make life pleasant, even for a few moments - again check policy first.

We may be out of sight, but we are still "right here." Family and friend connections might be one of the most powerful forces of therapy, rehabilitation and healing for us.  For many, perhaps the only source.  So if you're in the unpleasant situation of knowing someone who is incarcerated (and the number continues to grow), pick up a pen or type a letter on your computer and send it to the person!