You've probably done time in prison if...

You've probably done time in prison if...

-you carry your own toilet paper to and from the restroom, even in your own home.
-you bring plastic bags to restaurants and smuggle out food in your socks.
-you dutifully report to your bunk, err, bed, for " count time".
-you never want to see the color orange again...  Ever
-you can use a spork as a knife, a spoon, a fork, and also as a utility tool.
-you write back to "junk mail" hoping for a continued dialogue.
-a stranger in your bathroom comes as no surprise.
-you can't take a shower without some kind of shoes.
-you ask people around you, who you don't even know, if they are going to finish everything on their plate.
-you convert all monetary figures into cigarettes and ramen soups.
-you can reassemble a package of saltines, some leftover processed meat, some squeeze cheese, and other tidbits into a veritable thanksgiving feast with a single plastic bowl and a microwave.  (Which you eat with a spork).
- you always walk in the same direction around anything and on the same side.
-your too weak, two week paycheck is more than the yearly salary you once earned.
-you think Nescafe instant coffee is premium bland and makes a find cup o' joe.
-you wait to eat until you hear " turn out for chow".
-you " courtesy flush" the toilet repeatedly, regardless of where you are.
-you know how badly broken the justice system really is.